Another January 1st and I am resolving to write every day. It doesn’t have to be fiction or poetry, but I would like to commit to at last one poem per day. I was going through an old notebook last night and found the seeds of a poem, but really it is merely a thought:
The best poems
Are like prayers
Committed to memory
And said aloud
In one’s true voice
Those who have in real life conversations with me know I have a tendency to speak in a staccato manner, and this is also how I write. People have complained about how I speak and write in the past but that is really my voice. This year I will work on writing and speaking with deeper breaths, letting the air flow around my words a bit, and trying harder to relax everything. This is difficult for someone with a chronic anxiety issue, but my anxiety has gotten so much better just due to age and wisdom.
The year 2018 has been a particularly rough one but it was one where I have made significant self-care and health gains. I capped off the year by doing 200 push-ups on my toes in bouts of 10-20 reps per set with 30 second breaks or other weighted exercises in between. This December, prior to our Disney vacation, I weighed 127 lbs. which I have not weighed since my third child was born.
Given the past year’s success I think it is a good time to level up!
Resolutions for 2019
Read 45 books this year. My Goodreads goal of 2018 was 40 books, and really I didn’t start reading in earnest until the last four months of the year when I realized that I had a Goodreads goal at all. Turns out that my competitiveness (with myself and others) is an effective motivator in getting me to do healthy things. That said, my doctor (who is a general practitioner and teaches CCD at her daughter’s church) said her goal this 2018 was 75 books. At some point I would like to have a goal like that, but no. No.
Write every day. This is very difficult since I always have a child with me from 5:00 a.m. till 9:30 p.m. As I type this it is 7:50 a.m. and I have a five-year-old beside me singing songs and a toddler curled up on my lap with her hand down my shirt. It is very distracting when trying to get your thoughts together and write.
Publish an entry on this blog (or another blog) once a week. Of all the things I have tried to do this year, this was the hardest for reasons mentioned above but also due to the struggle to respect the privacy of my family. The world of the internet seems to consist of two types of people: the passive consumers and those who agree to be consumed. The great question between me and my husband is whether it is healthy to be part of this world at all. However, I find that blogging makes me more thoughtful about what I put out there. Other social media outlets make it too easy to mindlessly put your life out there. Also, since a lot of social media is image based I have accessibility issues for those who have visual challenges. So this year I have resolved to become for visually descriptive in my writing. Period. This very well may make my writing better. I don’t know, but we shall see.
Maintain a healthy weight of around 130 lbs. Starting this past Easter I decided to weigh myself every morning and go on the Fast Metabolism Diet. Toward the end of the year I increased my exercise and started tracking macros. This helped me finally break through to 135 lbs. or less and fitting easily into size 6 clothing.
Do 100 dead stop push-ups. I will do this in sets of 10-20 with 30 second breaks between. Pretty straightforward goal, and with my current regimen I should be able to get strong enough to do this.
Do 10 pull ups. I think the biggest hindrance to me being able to do this is my current weight. If I weighed 5 lbs. less it could make a significant difference. Right now I can do a single pull up. It is really hard. I think I will be able to do 10 by the end of the year.
Pray the rosary once a week. My 2018 goal of praying every morning at 5 a.m. has helped me clarify what and who are the most important things in my life. Due to the structure of my morning prayers it has forced me to think about others in my life and my relationships with them and to pray for these special people. The rosary has been an important prayer in my life and has led to much peace and grace so I could probably use more of it. I just have to commit to a consistent time and place, which is how I was able to achieve my fitness goals.
Clean out the garage and basement. The complication here is that a lot of the stuff isn’t mine. But I am admitting to myself that a lot of it is stuff I have control over. Again I need a plan. I have no idea what that plan looks like.
Organize all the special education files I have! If you have more than one special needs child in your life then you know exactly what I am talking about. This is probably one of the worst things I need to tackle even though it should be pretty easy. I just need to find all the files and put them in chronological order in a file box. But this makes me want to eat a whole blueberry pie with ice cream on top and drink a few mugs of boozy eggnog and this will undermine all my health goals so I really should leave this task till I mastered everything else right? Right!
I think those resolutions above are enough. They really are baby steps to bigger goals I have for next year. I hope to actually make money somehow in 2020 and writing a book. Right now I am just trying to develop the habits and be physically healthy.
I am hoping you are able to draw up achievable goals, too! Now that I have a blog I will have a record of what I set out to achieve. Hopefully I will remember to blog in December and see if I met these resolutions.
Zina in Wonderland 